The list

Skippy’s list r funny.

Skippy’s list is a list of items that either he was told he couldn’t do or he overheard someone else being told they couldn’t do.

Some of my favorites:

Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.

Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

I am not the atheist chaplain.

Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.”I may not call block my chain of command.

A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.

I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.

I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.

I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.

I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.

No, the pants are not optional.

Not allowed to “defect” to OPFOR during training missions.

Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.

Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.

I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.

 Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

Go and read the rest of the list here!

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One Response to “The list”

  1. Greetings from Falls County,
    I also like the list but my Wife reads it muttering, “Yeap, Yeah, Yeah, that one too.”
    I am expecting a simular list on the frige door any day now.

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