The list

Skippy’s list r funny.

Skippy’s list is a list of items that either he was told he couldn’t do or he overheard someone else being told they couldn’t do.

Some of my favorites:

Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.

Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

I am not the atheist chaplain.

Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.”I may not call block my chain of command.

A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.

I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.

I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.

I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.

I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.

No, the pants are not optional.

Not allowed to “defect” to OPFOR during training missions.

Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.

Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.

I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.

 Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

Go and read the rest of the list here!


One Response to “The list”

  1. Greetings from Falls County,
    I also like the list but my Wife reads it muttering, “Yeap, Yeah, Yeah, that one too.”
    I am expecting a simular list on the frige door any day now.

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