Ninja…cows?

Funny story told to us by the DPS Trooper teaching us Accident Investigation…

A fellow DPS Trooper got one of those mailed red light camera citations. They mailed him a picture of him committing the infraction and the citation. So he withdrew the cash to pay the fine, took a picture of it, then mailed them the picture of the money.

Another funny story related to me by a local Sheriff Deputy…

They got an anonymous call for some loose livestock blocking the major intersection in a town. They responded to the scene as quick as they could, since hitting a cow is messy in more ways than one. They arrive at the intersection, and the cows are nowhere to be found. There is not even a shred of evidence of cows. So, this Deputy, flustered at having driven half way across the county, gets on the radio and says, “Either I’m blind or these cows are freakin’ ninja cows…” Turns out it was fake call from a bunch of bored high school students.

Anyway, I figured I need to update yall on how I’m doing in the academy…

I’m currently 4th out of 27, and have a 91.9 (out of 100) overall average. I have scored above average on every test so far except for one. Even then, the class average was only 1.3 points more than my grade.

I lost the Constable gig. The Sheriff was never really going to go for it and thanks to the F word (funding), I got the axe. Most ironically though, rather than pay me, I got to keep the Beretta as compensation. They owed me around $300, so in the grand scheme of things, I’m a little ahead.

However, I’ve been searching high and low, slowly digging up job openings, and have gotten some numbers to call. The big problem is that dreaded F word again. Police Departments simply aren’t hiring like they used to. Thankfully, there is a catch. Sheriff’s Offices are pretty much recession proof. They rely mostly on tax money and citations, plus the occasional state/federal grant, which never dries up. People pay their taxes and people commit crimes and get citations, so it’s about as solid as you can get in this economy.

However, the problem is, all of those positions require the Peace Officer License first, which is why I’m in the Academy. So what I’m calling for, is to see if they’d be willing to hire me while I’m still in the Academy, then when I pass the TCLEOSE test and graduate, I’d go to work for them. It is called a ‘name only sponsorship’ since I’m still paying my way, but assume my studies under their name. It is something of a long shot, but it certainly isn’t unheard of. I just need to hope and pray things work out.

Another problem, is if they are willing to accept me, I will have to drive to their office and pick up an application. Sure, it doesn’t sound like much, but when you figure I’m calling places like Lee County (which their Sheriff’s Office is about an hour and a half from me), that’s a lot of driving. It’ll be worth it, just not looking forward to it.

‘Til next time!

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